by Deacon Garland J. Tutwillow, D.D.S.

Many regular readers of this website have commentated recently about all the wonderful support we have provided in the past few weeks for Future President Donald Trump.  Some have questioned its authenticity or genuousity.  Many have queried whether The Frog is serious about its support.  A few have even falsely accused this site of lampooning Mr. Future President Trump for comedic purposes.

In response to these queries and false accusations, the brave and proud Americans behind I See The Frog have asked me, Deacon Garland J. Tutwillow, D.D.S., to finally venture forth and claim ownership over said posts from previous weeks.  Yes it is I, a humble dentist from Morrisdale, Pennsylvania, that has had the pleasure of pontificating on behalf of The Donald these many weeks.  I am most proud to finally step out into the limelight and pronounce my (completely heterosexual) love and admiration for Mr. Trump. The owners of this venerable website have asked me to speak a little about myself and I am most humbly and happily able to oblige.

DEACON GARLAND J. TUTWILLOW – A BRIEF HISTORY

Donald Trump's America

Deacon Tutwillow waiting for the bus to attend a Trump rally on July 26, 2015.

I was brought into this world on the morning of September 15, 1938, the son of the late Maisey and Jed Tutwillow.  My father was a coal miner and my mother practiced the most noble of professions, Motherhood.  She raised me and my seven brothers mostly by herself, as my father kept busy with work and his gentlemanly pursuits.  Here is a photograph of my brothers and I at one of our happiest moments:

Donald Trump's America

The Tutwillow Boys

My father passed away at the age of 26 of natural causes after being shot seven times.  My mother passed away soon after at the age of 19, also of natural causes onset by excessive use of laudanum.  My brothers and I remained feral for 6 years after that, surviving off the local wildlife and only having to resort to cannibalism amongst ourselves three times. We were taken in by the right and honorable Judge William Sheroke upon our discovery by the local constables.  Here is a photo of myself and my brothers on the happy day Judge Sheroke took us in: (Please excuse the blood around our mouths)

Donal Trump's America

The surviving Tutwillow boys.

I remained the judge’s ward until I left for the Army in 1957.  I had hopes of serving in the Korean War but, to my utter dismay, upon finishing boot-camp I was informed that the Korean War had actually ended in 1953.  After my proud time in the military, I attended the Penn School of Dentistry on the G.I. bill and received my Doctoral of Dental Sciences in a mere 6 months.  Soon after graduation, I met the love of my life, Abigail Spencer, and we were married and divorced in June of 1960.  I met and wed my current wife, Darlene Spencer, in July of that year and we remain in happy matrimony to this day.  Here is a photograph of us on that most joyous day:

Donald Trump's America

The Tutwillow Wedding, July 29, 1960

I supported us by opening Tutwillow Dentistry and Upholstry.  Darlene and I had 8 children over the next 6 years, only 2 of which survived to adulthood.  We have not spoken to either of our surviving children since November 25, 1982, the day which will go down in infamy in the Tutwillow Household as “The Great Slinky Uprising”.  I prefer not to discuss that event and I thank you not to ask about it.  In May of 1987, I was elected Deacon of the First Presbyterian Church of Philipsburg, PA, an office I proudly hold to this day.

THE TUTWILLOW/TRUMP COALITION

Mr. Trump and I both attended the University of Pennsylvania but unfortunately our paths did not cross while there. The Tutwillow and Trump dynasties really first intersected in 1989 when, on the business advice of a close personal friend, I had invested most of our life savings into his Taj Mahal Casino project.  We lost nearly every cent we invested, but I observed the shrewd and calculating way FPOTUS Trump navigated his way through that venture and came out ahead of everyone else.  Right then and there, I said to myself, “Deacon Tutwillow, some day that man is going to be President.” Well, it took a few years, a few Clintons and a handful of Bushes, but that day is finally here.

DONALD TRUMP 2016

So it is with a proud heart, an uplifted chin and a renewed sense of pride in America that I offer myself as the Voice of The Frog in all matters Trump.  The men and women, nay, HEROES here at I See The Frog have bucked the trend in the liberal media to ridicule and insult a man for speaking the truth and nothing but the truth and have offered me, Deacon Garland J. Tutwillow, D.D.S., a platform from which to shout to the heavens the glories of Donald J. Trump, our next great President.

PREVIOUS ENTRIES

In conclusion, I now offer you my previous works available here on I See The Frog, so that you may see how sincere and genuine I am in my support for Mr. Trump.  Please feel free to follow me on Twitter for some of my shorter offerings and drop by The Facebook and say hi.  And, Mr. Trump, if you are reading this, I hope this small introduction to yours truly helps you understand how much I and all of us here at The Frog are behind you.

Until next time, my fellow Trump Supporters.

 

 

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