by Deacon Garland J. Tutwillow, D.D.S.

Frequent readers of this esteemed website may know already that I am a supporter of our future president, Donald J. Trump.  Well, it’s truly a comfort to know that I am not alone.  I had no idea that anyone out in Holly-liberal-wood was on my side.  You can probably understand why, then, my mind was blown to know that late night talk show host, Jimmy Kimmel, was brave enough to send one of his friends to a recent rally for President Trump.  And just imagine my extreme joy when I found out that friend was none other than my cousin, Jake Byrd (or Little Hammock Bird, as we called him around the Christmas table).  Yes, LHB and I are second cousins by marriage on my stepmother’s side.  We lost touch when I joined the Navy and he went to beautician’s school in Pittsburgh, so I had no idea that a bigshot like Jimmy Kimmel had taken the little scamp under his wing and made him a major star out there in Hollywood.  Jimmy Kimmel, you, sir, are a wise and generous man.  Not only for your obvious and clear support of Mr. Trump but also of your recognition of my cousin’s talent for connecting with fellow Trump supporters like myself.

Please enjoy the below video and join me in cheering on Jimmy Kimmel with a rousing chorus of “DTF! DTF! DTF!”


On a side note, I was unable to travel to Dallas to witness this historic rally on account of gout.

On a side note to the side of that previous side note, I’ll be checking out Jimmy Kimmel Live tonight where, apparently, they will be giving us more of this:

Although, as a Doctor of Dental Science, I cannot endorse soda pop of any kind (due to the tiny aliens that invade each can and set up shop in your appendix), the fine folks at Dr. Pepper seems to be doing some fine work with the young people these days.  The above commercial was even directed by FF (Frog Founder) David Fickas, who has so generously given me this amazing pulpit from which to praise the virtues of Saint Donald.  That you, Mr. Fickas and congratulations in successfully getting young people to throw their balls at a nice set of cans.

I am, and remain, your number one fan, Mr. Fickas Mr. Trump.