We’re almost (if not absolutely) sick of hearing about Rachel Dolezal, the insane white woman who has been masquerading as a black woman. We’re not here to debate her need for a mental health evaluation, but rather to wrap up the important questions that have arisen around such a socially charged issue.

 

1. I’m white. Can I do it too?

Thanks to our friends over at BFT Comedy, we are free to finally ask what we really want to ask, like, “How does she do that to her hair?” and “Can I be her for Halloween?

 

2. Is Rachel Dolezal “transracial?” Like people are “transgender?”

No. That is not a thing. When a child is conceived, the embryo grows male or female characteristics based on the chromosomes it possesses. This is the same for all human children. All human embryos are virtually gender neutral until the 7th week of pregnancy, at which point more typically male or female characteristics begin to develop differently. Sometimes the apparent sex of a person does not match up with the gender identity that person feels they are inside. As we all had the potential to be either male or female, or somewhere in between, this spectrum leads to wide variety of identities including transgender, bi-gender, pangender, and third gender.

Race is not the same. Your race is not determined as you grow from an embryo into a baby. When you’re pregnant, the doctor may say “Congratulations! It’s a girl!” because it could go either way. But your doctor would never say “Congratulations! It’s Chinese!” Unless of course you are Chinese, in which case that would still be a weird thing for your doctor to say and you should probably find a new doctor. There are many forms of identity disorders, so whether or not being “transracial” is a thing, it’s definitely not like being transgender.

 

3. Why isn’t Maya Rudolph playing Rachel Dolezal all the time, forever?

Thanks to Seth Meyers, we finally got answers:

So we put you to rest, Rachel Dolezal. At least until your reality show comes out or you do something even crazier to regain the spotlight.

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